Featured Narrator: Oba (Instagram: @obadareoga_photography)
Date: 1st June, 2018
Route: Iyana-Ipaja – Oshodi
Blog owner note: This was sent in as a recorded voice note and I had to transcribe it. Apparently, the quarrel had started before the narrator started recording. So the words are just as said. * Rated 18*
It has been a long and tiring week and everyone is just trying to get home to their loved ones. This woman gets on the bus, there is this man sitting infront of her and he is carrying a big load. The man’s elbow mistakenly presses her breast. The woman is angry and asks if the guy wants to kill her. The bus is yet to fill up and an exchange of words/ quarrel happens:
Photo credit: google images
Woman: Why you dey touch my breast? Stop touching my breast.
Man: Wetin you dey talk? You wey dey find husband. Na the kind of una never marry, you understand me?
Woman: Are you done now? Ode!
Man: Married woman no go talk wetin you talk now, you understand me?
Woman: Na now your sense start to dey work?
Passengers: It don do now! Ah!
Man: You are a very dirty woman, na me dey tell you. Look at this dirty thing dey tell me say this thing dey touch am …
Woman: Your mouth dey smell, keep your mouth shut.
Man: Na the kind of you dey find young man to sleep with. You na never marry. A married woman no go talk wetin you talk. Very dirty thing. Pig like you! You think say na only you sabi talk?
Woman: Goat! Heavy blankata, na hin you be.
Man: Pig like you. Person wey supposed dey street.
Woman: You get prick wey people go dey find you?
Man: I no get penis. I tell you say I get penis? You wey you get pussy…
Woman: You be ode!
Man: You wey get pussy, you for use am na!
Woman: See breast!
Man: I say you are a very dirty woman, na my first time wey i dey see you but you are a very dirty woman.
Woman: Your mouth is smelling.
Man: Public Toilet
Woman: Your mouth dey smell I go slap your mouth o. I will slap you o!
Man: You say you go slap me? It be like say you no know me o.
Woman: I go slap you o! Your mouth dey smell.
Man: Any bus stop wey you reach, i go useless you o.
Woman: I go slap you o! I go slap you o!
Man: I wan tell you who I be for this motor now, You go slap me abi? Make we reach checking point now, you go know.
Woman: God go punish you!
Man: God go punish me ba?
Woman: Wo! God go damage your life.
Man: Wey the driver dey?
Woman: That checking point ehn, if you no do wetin you want ehn!!! You be goat!
Man: Leave am, leave am. Dey talk o! dey talk!
Woman: Let’s get to the checking point, shebi you dey talk, you get power, idiot, we know who you be. You know who you dey talk to? Ode. With your stupid, with your checking point! God go punish you! You and your checking point. Reach there make you do werey. Make you see craze. Nonsense.
Another passenger: You know each other before?
Woman: Na checking point dey there if you dey mad. See me see trouble o! I enter bus, you dey press my breast, shey you wan kill me ni? simple sorry o or madam no vex, he begin to dey follow me dey speak language.
Man: You are a useless woman.
Woman: Dem no born your papa well, where you come from, dem no born your mama well. God punish the mama wey born you.
Man: Dem go wawa you.
Woman: Make we reach there. You dey say something, i dey tell you, your mouth dey ooze. Make we reach the checking point na.
Well, that was the end of the word trade. Nothing happened at the checkpoint and we all got to Ajah peacefully.